Men, It’s Ok To Have Fear
As men, our ego has the strength of a glass chandelier and if we say "we don't have an ego"--rest assure it's actually our ego talking (LOL).
One of the questions I ask men before they join my program is
"... what's fears do they have around the problem they're trying to solve?"
The answer is most always
... I don't have fears.
... I'm not afraid of anything.
(There's several others but you get the idea)
When I see short-one-word answers like this, it usually means "guarded". They're guarding themselves because of past experiences, but let's save *that* for another post.
Fear doesn't necessarily mean, "you're physically afraid" of something.
It could simply be a self doubt or limiting belief in your ability to be successful at something.
As men (or people in general) we fear the unknown . On top of that, we fear uncertainty in our ability to be prepared while going into the unknown.
Once we hop on the phone to chat and peel back the layers of their thick protected shell of masculinity and "guardedness" -- they realize
"... hey, ok, I didn't realize I feared that."
Most of the men I work with fall in one of two categories:
- They want to get in great shape but are afraid of starting Jiu-Jitsu because they don't want to get injured and miss time in the weight room (because it's their escape from reality).
- They're a BJJ addict and are afraid of adding strength training because they don't want it to interfere with their time on the mat. Or worse, they fear getting injured in the weight room and now they can't train, roll or drill (because it's their escape from reality).
These are both legitimate "fears" as a man when it comes to the physical nature of our desires.
Both are juggernauts in how we show up as men for our family.
Once we establish this and get everything on the table -- it's a BIG light bulb moment for them.
Like, it's ok and totally healthy to have fears.
Now they can open up, let their guard down, and finally move forward so they can hulk smash their goals.
So let me ask you
"... what fears do you have around your goals?"
Drop a comment below.
P.S. If you can relate and need some help working through your fears -- I'm gonna be working with a small group of men for 90 days where...
I show them how to get back in shape, rebuild their confidence so they can train Jiu-Jitsu, and become the husband and father their family deserves.
If this sound like something you'd be into, drop a comment with "I'M IN" and we could set up a time to chat.