A few weeks ago I was talking with one of my students and they made a great observation about creating boundaries. I think we all struggle with setting boundaries for ourselves so we can be better and bring more to our community.
Many of us are recovering people pleasers.
I know I am.
... I tend to give away too much of my time and recourses… which ultimately leads to burn out and resentment if feel I’m not being valued.
(... and if the same value isn’t being returned to me.)
Her observation was about "sharing."
As soon as she said the word I knew exactly where she was coming from.
Boundaries are hard for people especially if you want to please others.
If that's you.
Here's what I recommend Instead.
Don't looking at boundaries as a hard line.
(... like you're cutting yourself off from others.)
Instead Look at it from a place of sharing.
- Sharing your time.
- Sharing your talents.
- Sharing your treasure.
- Sharing your emotional energy.
Here's the best part.
You get to choose WHO you share these with.
You’re in complete control.
And one of the keys to being a better man is to focus only on what you can control.
And sharing is one of them.
Sharing in and of itself creates boundaries but from a place of charity.
Sharing allows you to bring value to your community.
... and when you having nothing left to share… a boundary is set.
Because you cannot give what you don’t have.
It reminds me of the men in the book of acts who shared all of their goods with the community.
- "Many of them sell their land and possessions and lay the proceeds at the feet of the Apostles.
The community of believers was of one heart and mind, and no one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they had everything in common.
With great power the Apostles bore witness to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great favor was accorded them all.
There was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the Apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need.
Thus Joseph, also named by the Apostles Barnabas (which is translated Ason of encouragement”), a Levite, a Cypriot by birth, sold a piece of property that he owned, then brought the money and put it at the feet of the Apostles."
And putting the needs of others above your own.
No... this does not mean you need to go and sell your possessions and give them to the Church.
But what else can you share of great value?
What talents and treasures can you share with the community?
Take a look at what I’m doing.
I’m sharing right now… that’s what these posts are all about.
It's what my YouTube channel is about.
Sharing my time, talent, and treasures with you.
My channel is riddled with free workouts and strength strategies to help you becomes strong in your body. The SAH blog is packed with strength and endurance-getting next level programs.
The apostles call this sharing living a "communal life."
Coming together for a common purpose.
(Element #5 of a strong man: Strong in Community.)
When you look at your time from a place of sharing.
... you bring more value to your community.
When sharing your emotional energy and recourses with others.
You create boundaries.
Appreciate you reading.
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