Ch 2 of 5: The Vicious 4-Step Cycle Holding You Back
Hey! It’s me, your conscience, again.
Before I get into the 4 steps, I wanna to tell you about the life of a circus elephant.
When a circus buys an elephant, they shackle it to a stake and drive it deep into the ground.
No matter how hard this defenseless baby elephant pulls to get away...
... it cannot pull the stake from the ground—it’s trapped.
This little guy pulls again the next day, the day after that, and the day after that, and ----> NOTHING.
The result?
Defeat, disappoint, despair, the painful feeling of loneliness, and being TRAPPED.
(Feeling trapped and lonely are the worst feelings EVER)
Time goes by and this baby elephant is full grown—he’s HUGE!
He now possesses the strength to not only pull the stake from the ground…
… but also to rampage and destroy full buildings if he so chooses.
But something sad happens.
He never tries to pull again.
This now fully grown, amazing creation of God is being held down by something which can no longer hold it back.
But, it doesn’t have the brain capacity or risk tolerance to pull again because…
… what’s the point?
The result will be the same.
All he remembers is the feeling of defeat, disappointment, loneliness, and feeling trapped.
So he avoids those pains all together.
What's crazy is, the circus owner no longer bothers to use the stake and literally just ties a small rope around the elephants neck.
And you know what?
It WON’T move because of the perception
it’s being held down and staked to the ground.
(Sad)
From the day you were born a stake was driven in the ground and chained around your neck.
This stake is ME.
Your limiting belief system and I wreak havoc on you each day causing internal resistance.
And that's why I'm writing you today.
To talk about the internal resistance I’ve created within you.
I’ve created certain beliefs systems to support your life decisions, mostly based on your past experiences.
These belief systems are the foundation of your current life.
The good and bad news is.
I've created these beliefs about yourself to keep you safe from the brutal world around you.
While they're "protecting" you -- they've also put the breaks on your progress to getting back in shape and overcoming your addictions -- so you can look good, feel good, and eventually become the person God called you to be.
The beliefs you hold about yourself start with an experience (positive for negative).
Here’s a few experiences you’ve likely dealt with which no-one knows about because you hide to protect your core-self:
- You’ve been neglected.
- You've never gotten the respect you feel you deserve.
- Bullied or harassed (verbally, emotionally, or physically).
- Your trust has been betrayed or taken advantage of by someone "you thought you knew."
- You grew up with an overbearing or oppressive parent(s).
Any and all of these experiences create a belief -- brought on by a story you’ve told yourself after the experience to keep you safe from a repeat experience.
I call this, "The Toxic Cycle."
This leads to internal resistance which creates stories like: why things keep happening to you, [fill in the blank of] won’t work for you, or [Blank] isn’t possible.
This belief is STRONG!
It’s a shackle cinched around your throat and staked to the ground -- preventing you from ever attempting to escape from your Toxic Cycle.
Kinda like the elephant I mentioned above.
Which leads me to...
The VICIOUS 4-Step Cycle Holding You back
EXPERIENCE => STORY => SHACKLE OF LIMITING BELIEF => INTERNAL RESISTANCE
Example #1:
- EXPERIENCE: Being Bullied or Physically Abused
- STORY: It’s my fault, I allowed myself to be bullied/physical abused. Plus, if I tell anyone, the abuse will only get worse and more frequent.
- SHACKLE OF LIMITING BELIEF: Because of this story, you believe you’re weak, powerless, everything is your fault, and you’re not worthy of the happiness and freedom you deserve. You become a victim.
- INTERNAL RESISTANCE: With this stake cinched to your neck, you battle internally with being decisive, you resist taking action to change your circumstance because you feel you’re NOT strong enough to endure the process.
... and worse?
You feel you’re not worthy of the good things in life which follow physical freedom, feeling good, and looking good (Cementing the belief you hold about yourself)."
At the end of the day.
The belief you hold about yourself not only creates your problem. It also...
keeps you from solving the problem.
Example #2
- EXPERIENCE: You tried an intense workout, body building style regiment, or your first Jiu-Jitsu class.
- STORY: Man to get in shape look good and feel good… I need to workout like 6 days a week for an hr and each workout needs to be intense (ugh, I HATE WORKING OUT), 20-30 minutes of cardio afterwards (and on ‘in between days’)?!
Plus I need to eat like a rabbit, restrict myself to a crazy diet (I hate eating healthy), and count calories??!!
Or
Damn, I need to get in better shape first before I go back to Jiu-Jitsu, it's not for me right now... - SHACKLE OF LIMITING BELIEF: I need to be a fitness junkie, give-up all my yummy comfort foods to get [back] in shape just so I can look good in my clothes, and have the energy to play with my kids?! NO THANKS!
(Well, maybe I'll start the Monday after I come back from vacation)
Or
I'm too old for Jiu-Jitsu, all these guys are half my age and I don't think I can keep up. - INTERNAL RESISTANCE: You either never make better food choices, you jump from one shiny program/workout to the next, never go back to Jiu-Jitsu (allowing the bullying to continue), or avoid everything all together.
Btw, you're not the only affected by this.
YEP.
Unfortunately, there is collateral damage -- your wife and kids also suffer.
Here’s the thing…
… two different people can have the same experience but tell themselves two different stories—chaining themselves to two separate belief patterns.
One person becomes a victim.
The other transforms into a powerful elephant and demolishes the stake trying to hold them down.
SO...
... the next time you have a bad experience -- be very careful of the meaning you give your thoughts and the story you tell yourself.
Limiting beliefs are STRONG and once this progress-destroying shackle is on… it's tough to break.
So…
… as your conscience, here’s how I can help you.
Let me know what current limiting belief you’re struggling with.
I’m sure there are many but, which one is holding you back the most?
Your mind is POWERFUL and super-effective at locking these limiting beliefs deep beneath the surface of the soul.
To the point my evil twin, subconscious, takes over…
(Even I, your conscience, have a hard time reading your thoughts. I can only see and judge your actions or Lack thereof)
All in the effort to keep you safe from perceived danger.
That's it for tonight.
Gotta run, other thoughts, actions, and in actions to evaluate!
Love ALWAYS,
-C-
Btw...
I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.
Self-talk, reprogramming your subconscious is SUPER-POWERFUL, and pretty easy to do (if you know how to do it).
It just takes (I hate to say it)… repetition and consistency.
If you’d like to learn how to do this -- how to break free -- I discovered a way to get clear on your goals, retell your story, and cement a new belief system.
As your conscience, I recommend you check it out.
P.S. If you want to revisit ch1, you can do that here. Or move to ch3: "4 Doors of Decisiveness."