The Bucket of Conviction (Part 4) - Strong As Hec

"Men love to steal... I love to steal."

This was my realization after a "Bucketing session."

It's also an observation I made during a scene in Robert Bly's book, "Iron John." There's a moment when the boy is trying to get his golden ball back from Iron John (who's locked in an iron cage).

  • Iron John tells him, "I'll give you your ball back IF you let me out of this cage."

    After several back and forths the boy tells him, "Even if I wanted to let you out... I don't have the key."

    "The key is under your moms pillow, says Iron John."

Knowing the queen mother would't just GIVE him the key. He sneaks into her room when she is asleep, and STEALS it.

This got me thinking.

Upper Limit Problem: Real quick. If you're just join us, this is a continuation of our "Upper Limit Problem" series. You can review past posts here.

Since this book is about men and how we operate psychologically. And the behavior of the young boy in this scene steals.


Do men have a proclivity to steal?

When I was 5-7 years old I loved to steal. I used to steal the toys of other kids because I had none.

(Like many growing up in the 80's... we grew up with the bare essentials, and cool Gi-Joes and Transformers were not in the budget.)

After I played with them for a day or two... I'd return them.

(... i.e., putting them on their porch when I figured no one would notice.)

After a while, I began to enjoy it.

There was an adventure and thrill to it. Eventually I was caught by my mom and step father (and received the wippin' of a lifetime).

I share this with you because... you, me, and men at large are... addicted to our sin.

That's right.


To uncover the fact you love your sin you need...

The Bucket of Conviction

This step of Bucketing Work... reveals the TRUTH!

The root cause of WHY you do what you do:

  • It's where we self-sabotage our efforts.
  • It's where men destroy all of the progress he's have made to this point.
  • It's where you meet your "Upper Limit Problem (ULP)."


Your ULP is your current capacity to feel happiness. Once you reach this "upper limit" of how much happiness you can feel, you self-destruct (a subconscious response).

Pulling yourself down to an environment or feeling which is more familiar.

We love doing what we do... because WE ENJOY IT.

Just admit it.

  • You love binge eating on junk food after you've "been good" on your diet.
  • You love playing the victim in your marriage.
  • Going on drinking tirades.
  • Watching porn.
  • Lusting after women with your eyes.
  • Negative self-talk.

Whatever it is for you.

Just admit it.

Why is this important?

Because... only when you admit you love your sin... can you take the next step to solve the problem.

This puts you in a place of ownership.

You can't solve a problem, your don't OWN.

So now what?

Now that you're clear and have admitted you love your sin... what's the next step? That's what I'll cover in my next post.

Be on the look out for: ADAPTATION: NEW Experiences

hec "addicted to my sin" g.


We're all addicted to doing the things we know we shouldn't be doing.

You know what?

It's OK.

It's part of the human condition.

It's part of your human nature.

This is essential to understand because:

  • Only when you take ownership of the situation by being convicted of your sin.
  • Only then can you solve the problem.
  • Only then can you RESPOND appropriately, and become a better man.

Without this conviction, we remain trapped in our Toxic Cycle.

... and I want you to know... you're not alone in this journey.

Here's what one of our students in  our coaching program sent to me...

Bucket of Conviction, I love my sin.
Bucket of Conviction, I love my sin.

Gaining awareness and discovering the truth of WHY you do what you do... is painful. But it's the only way to take ownership of the problem so you can shatter and leave your Toxic Cycle.

And enter...

The Better Man Cycle

Better Man Cycle

P.S. If you want to walk a difference path.

If you want learn how to respond better (and no longer hide) when circumstance, your wife, and kids push you to your upper limits...

... then it's essential to change the story you've been telling yourself all these years. But how do you do that?

By giving yourself a "NEW WOUND."

This is essential to understand because your "wound" is your greatest gift to the world.

[To be continued...]