'I heard you in the garden; but I was afraid, because I was naked, so I hid'.
(8) When they heard the sound of the LORD God, walking about in the garden at the breezy time of day, the man and his wife hid themselves from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. (9) The LORD God, then called to the man and asked him: Where are you? (10) He answered, 'I heard you in the garden; but I was afraid, because I was naked, so I hid'." ~ Genesis 3:8–10.
Today men, and the world at large, are not taught (or shown) how to respond to what life throws their way.
Which leaves men with two options:
- We suppress emotions, because we're told their toxic. Well... what we don't realize is... what we suppress comes back with a vengeance.
Years of suppression leads to anger and soon after, RAGE. Projected onto the ones we love. Or... we take option #2... - NO RESPONSE (we HIDE).
Like Adam did in the garden.
It's his initial RESPONSE to God in the garden.
After Adam falls... God enters the garden and calls him, "where are you?"
God wasn't referring to his geographical location, He's God and knows exactly where His son is.
He asked him.
Where are you in relation to Me?
He was giving Adam an opportunity for confession, and to be reconciled to Him. But instead of a response of faith and taking personal responsibility.
Adam blames his wife.
(How many men today blame their wives for their circumstances?)
It's also interesting that Adam hid among the trees of the garden.
You see... as men we hide in our environment.
We hide in places where we are comfortable:
- The "man cave."
- Watching football.
- The gym.
- Jiu-Jitsu.
- Work.
We also hid in the garden of our mind, the garden of our heart.
We hide beneath the surface of our soul.
And the only way to learn HOW to respond so you can better lead your family is to do what I call "Bucketing Work."
A systematic tool, and thought coaching model, we give to the students of our Men's Elite Coaching Program.
It helps you dig down and "bucket out" the water from the pond of your soul. To get beneath the surface of why you self-sabotage.
Why you continue to experience your "Upper Limit Problem (ULP)."
The 5 Buckets
The process to becoming the Elite version of yourself is based on the Hardstyle Code:
- Awareness (Confession)
- Adaptation (Repentance)
- Aligned-Action (Atonement)
Bucket #1: The Bucket of Courage (AWARENESS)
This is first and most painful step for men.
It takes courage and guts to dive beneath the surface... to discover the root cause of your circumstance. In Robert Bly's book, Iron John. He describes a scene where a hunter has lost his dog.
(this dog represents all which you hold dear: your wife, children, and relationships.)
He goes back to town and brings back men each with buckets.
... to "bucket out" the ENITRE pond, one bucket at a time, to figure out what took his dog.
(I can only imagine how painful it was. It's the perfect metaphor for doing the uncomfortable work to figure out WHY you continue to experience your Upper Limit Problem.)
The first bucket closes with awareness of the current belief you have about yourself. This is essential information because…
… The belief about yourself guides all of your ACTIONS and RESPONSES. It's those responses which create your problem.
The belief you hold about yourself leads to how you view the world.
Particularly... YOUR WOLRD.
Bucket #2: The Bucket of Revelation
Reveals WHY you've "lost your dog."
It's the exposition of your Toxic Cycle.
(I touched on this in a previous post: The 'Inescapable Vortex.')
The belief about yourself which you discovered in the first bucket leads to a story. A story which creates YOUR world view––YOUR perception of reality.
It's this belief and world view which causes your PROBLEM (I.e., circumstance).
The belief you have about yourself, while simultaneously creating your problem, keeps you from solving the problem.
Trapping you in your "Toxic Cycle."
In short, you remain subject to your ULP.
Every time you see success… Every time you experience happiness…You do something to sabotage yourself, leaving you trapped.
And the only way to break the toxic cycle is...
... to gain AWARENESS, through an illumination of conscience, and confessing the truth of the situation in order to develop a RESPONSE which serves you, your family, and community.
Something I'll cover in my next post.
Be on the lookout for Bucket #3: The Bucket of Conviction
Appreciate you reading.
hec "I'm always aware so I can respond" g.
Btw...
Did you know?
Men love, and might even be addicted to, their Upper Limit Problem?
That's right.
You might not realize it but...
... YOU might be addicted as well.
It was an eye-opening moment for me when I learned this truth for myself. When I realized... I loved to steal.
[To be continued...]