Your Wound is Your Gift (Part 5) - Strong As Hec

"Your wound is a gift. And it's that wound where you'll find your greatest gift to the community and to your family. You gotta honor the gift of where you were wounded––it's where your gift to the world lies." ~ Robert Bly

Upper Limit Problem: Real quick, this post closes out our series on the "Upper Limit Problem." For context, if you're just joining us, I recommend starting here.

Each of us receives a "wound" in our life.

(mine are... isolation, devalue, and shame.)

It's required.

For some it's a wound to the psyche.

For others it's a physical wound.

... and for most... It's BOTH.

How you receive your wound isn't important.

What's important is HOW YOU RESPOND.

The "2 Responses"

Men respond to their wound in one of two ways.

Response #1: The Depressed Path

This is where you BECOME the wound:

  • You live in the wound of shame.
  • You become the victim, "woe is me."
  • You remain slave to DEVALUE and ISOLATION.

Men who've lacked a father figure most of their life take this path.

... and by consequence...

Many men lack COURAGE today.

("Courage" is fear IN ACTION.)

It takes courage––and GUTS––to tell your wife you need to workout.

That you need alone time.

That getting yourself RIGHT is a priority and... you're gonna carve out a certain amount of hours each week to get it done.


men end up creating "battle lines" with their wife where... there’s certain things we don’t do—or say—because we know it’s gonna create conflict and stress.

The result?

Men end up leading a life of avoidance.

Which leads me to...

Response #2: The Grandiose Path

The is the path of ascension––the path of passivity.

Passivity is a characteristic passed down to us from our forefathers: Adam, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It's where you resist the experience/circumstance/wound.

It's where you rise above the wound and shame––you decide to have nothing to do with it.

Examples of resisting the wound is:

  • Getting good grades.
  • Refusing the Bucketing Work.
  • Drowning yourself in your work.

(...the list is long.)

Because you figure, "hell, I’m wounded. But at least I'm successful and possess financial, time, and location freedom."

But as Robert Bly puts it, "this isn’t very human as we’re not acknowledging the wound."

So how do we ADAPT?

How do we move forward?


Bucket #4: New Experiences (ADAPTATION)

I mentioned a few posts back.

That there is a "secret path..."

This is the "Path of Ownership."

It's where you learn how to RESPOND to the world around you––how to respond to your wound. This is where you adapt, create new experiences, and get clear ON WHAT YOU WANT.

It's where you create a new world view (and belief about yourself) so you can walk a different path and attain the goals you've set for yourself.

If you've ever wondered:

[+] Why you do what you.

[+] Why you can't stay consistent with your eating.

[+] Why the last 6, 12, 18 months look the same.

[+] Why you can't stay consistent with your workouts.

[+] Why you can't be REAL and HONEST with your wife and kids.

It's because...

... you're not even aware of the required "Bucketing Work" you should be doing.

(We touched on "Bucketing Work" in (Part 3) "Bucketing." For more context... read that post first, then come back here.)

Without Buckets 1-4:

  • Bucket #1: The Bucket of Courage (Awareness and Confession)
  • Bucket #2: The Bucket of Revelation
  • Bucket #3: The Bucket of Conviction
  • Bucket #4: NEW Experiences (Adaptation and Repentance)

You can never use...

Bucket #5: Poetry (Aligned-Action and Atonement)

This is where the game changes.

This is where you write your "Poetry" (i.e., retell your story).

SO you can, once and for all, take Aligned-Action and bring your greatest gift(s) to your family, community, and the world at large.

But don't take my word for it.

Men like: Chris, Malcolm, Will, Ryan, and many more are changing their life, marriage, and family everyday.

Bother, if you're tired of being stuck in your Toxic Cycle.

You need a "Fraternal Fireteam", a brotherhood, to break through so you can walk a different path.

Enrollment to our Elite Men's Coaching Program is open.

Where we help men develop discipline and become the elite version of themselves so they can build a stronger, leaner, and more capable body to better lead your family.

In order to accomplish this... you’ll need a strategy built on these 3 Daily-Disciplines:

Discipline #1: A Quick Kettlebell Coaching Program

A step-by-step training system to guide you through the Performance Progression Pyramid so you can take your body and performance to the next level.

(... without constant aches and pains. You'll also receive coaching on how to eat in a non-restrictive way to not only support your training. But also help you achieve your physical goals––you know, to "LOOK" the part too.)

Discipline #2: Recovery Accelerating Mechanism (R.A.M)

If you’re not able to recover from your workouts... you’re shooting yourself in the foot.

A Recovery Accelerating Mechanism is a proven system to help men train hard, more often, and remain fresh & healthy as possible.

When you get this right, the days of waking up feeling "crushed" are *POOF*, gone.

Discipline #3:"Bucketing System"

Men are trapped in their stories.

The lies they've been telling themselves about WHY they can't be consistent.

WHY they don't have time.

Lies like, "If I just had __________, then I'd be able to [attain this specific goal/desire]."

It's this alibi which keeps men "stuck."

If you want to become a BETTER man––AN ELITE MAN.

You must gain control over your mind.

Your thoughts.

... and the stories you've been telling yourself.

This is what we help the men in our Elite program do.

The man who has control over his mind can exercise that control... and direct it towards attaining any objective.

"Bucketing" teaches men HOW TO RESPOND to the circumstances in his life.

(... Men haven't been show/taught how to RESPOND. They either project out. Or don't respond at all... which leads him down the path of passivity.)

A Bucking System illuminates WHY he's not taking action towards your life goals.

It provides the blueprint to establishing your values, vision, and purpose... so you can take aligned action once and for all.

Enrollment is open here.

(If you're already a member of the HARDSTYLE ACADEMY, be sure to login with your email, then proceed with your enrollment.)

I greatly appreciate your attention and reading this "Upper Limit Problem" series.

Hope it's helped you out as much as it's helped me in writing it.

hec g.

P.S. As always... if you have Q's, shoot me a DM in the ACADEMY, or leave a comment below.