Extreme Ownership

Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky has a profound perspective on taking responsibility and 100% ownership of one's circumstance:

"^[1]Every one of us is undoubtably responsible for all men—and everything on earth, not nearly through the general sinfulness of creation, but each one personally for all mankind, and every individual man.

There is only one means of salvation, then take yourself and make yourself responsible for all man's sins, that is the truth, you know, friends, for as soon as you sincerely make yourself responsible for everything, and for all men, you will see it once that it is really so, and that you are to blame for everyone and for all things."

(Emphasis mine.)

A Lack of Discipline Affects More Than Ourselves

The Church teaches us that, through sin, we wound not only ourselves, but ^[2]the entire Mystical Body of Christ is affected. Just as an injury to one part of our body affects the whole organism. So, too, our actions affect everyone us.

That's a tough pill to swallow.

What would happen––and what would my life look like––if I took 100% responsibility for my circumstances? Imagine what would the world look like? What would the Church look like?

If you and I were to get clear on our self-limiting beliefs, of what we're capable of, and took 100% ownership of our circumstances with the aim of becoming better; becoming the strongest, most elite, version of ourselves; becoming ^[3]"the person who has pulled out all the stops in his adventurous sojourning forward––how much better would everyone else be, in direct consequence?"

If our actions affect more than ourselves, ^[4]"is it not equally true in some mysterious manner that the sins of the world are the result of your own inadequacy, your own failure to bear sufficient responsibility?"

This is the reason we ought to aim, and I encourage you, to be responsible for all men because, our sin––our faults––affect not only ourselves... but they affect the entire Body of Christ.

The contrary is to live a lie (remaining trapped in our stories and false beliefs about ourselves). This is the spirit of Cain from the Biblical narrative. "Cain lies habitually."

The Road of Fratricide and Destruction

Jordan Peterson says about Cain in his book, We Who Wrestle With God, ^[5]"the path of lies leads him down the road to fratricide, the destruction of his own deal, and estrangement from himself, man, and God––from center to lonely, vagabond margin.

Someone who lies clearly steps away from the Good, the truthful and upward-oriented Logos who makes the cosmos that is good."

This "estrangement from himself and God" is the loss of ^[6]the 4 Harmonies:

1. Loss of harmony with oneself himself.
2. The Loss of harmony between man and woman.
3. Loss of harmony between the first couple and creation.
4. And the Loss of harmony with God.

The Effects of Lying

In Dostoevsky's book, The Brothers Karamazov, he tells us about the consequences of living a lie:

^[7]"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others.

And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passion and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself.

The man who lies to himself can be more easily offended than anyone. You know it is sometimes very pleasant to take offense, isn't it? A man may know that nobody has insulted him, but that he has invented the insult for himself, has lied and exaggerated to make picturesque, has caught at a word and made a mountain out of a mole hill—he knows that himself, yet he will be the first to take offense, and will revel in his resentment till he feels great pleasure in it, and so pass to genuine vindictiveness."

So the effects of lying boil down to:

1. Being unable to distinguish truth; therefore, lives in a false reality.
2. A loss of respect of oneself and others.
3. A loss of the capacity to love.
4. Giving way to passion and pleasure.
5. Easily offended.

"Everything is my fault"

When you can say "it's my fault."

The problem now lies within the realm of what you control––your effort and your attitude. Which means you can take ownership of and solve the problem.

But the first thing is gaining awareness of the stories and beliefs you hold about yourself; getting clear on the source(s) of resistance and taking 100% ownership of them.

So the next time you are presented with a trigger, circumstance, or situation... you'll be able to give the right meaning to the stories which come up for you.

Instead of being deceived by emotional sensations which lead to false, limiting, beliefs about ourselves. And by consequence, internal resistance––keeping you and I from taking aligned-action; and unhealthy habitual responses.

Knocking Down Barries and Building New Beliefs

Here's how we teach our students.

Step1: We help them get clear on their values.

Write out 5-6 core values. This will take some time. Sit down and put pen to paper. Get all your thoughts out of your head. Make them concrete.

Write down 5-6 core beliefs or core values you hold. This is a critical piece; as I've said... "show me any person's results in life and I will show you what this person values."

If I say I value health and fitness, but yet I'm not taking any action toward building a stronger, leaner, and more capable body. Guess what? I'm A LIAR and I'm living a LIE. Remember the effects of lying?

If I say I value family.

But all of my actions are in complete and perfect opposition to this core value. Guess what? 1.) I become an ^[8]enemy to myself and 2.) I'm out of integrity. Integrity––like the virtue of prudence––is the value which governs all core values.

The Definition of Integrity

Integrity is the alignment of your word/thoughts/beliefs with your actions. It's the alignment of your intellect and will.

Years ago (~2013) I was at a certification called, "CK-FMS."

Lead by two of my mentors, Gray Cook and Brett Jones. During the event Gray was lecturing on motor control and stability. He defined "stability" as "strength, with integrity, under load."

Life, and our core values, are much the same.

(This is why I use a lot of fitness analogies, as there is a lot of carryover from fitness to everyday life, and vise versa: the body is the mind and the mind is the body.)

When we're out of integrity with ourselves, we are weakened under the "load" of life––and will be subject to a life of instability.

On a deeper, philosophical and religious, level... when we're out of integrity with ourselves, we do "violence" to ourselves and God's nature.

Violence Against Ourselves and God's Nature

The philosophical definition of violence, according Thomist Fr. Chad Ripperger, is, "action contrary to the nature of a thing. The effect of violence is weakness, you weaken the thing you are violent, in relationship, to."

This is why God flooded the earth in the Biblical narrative.

The secular world asks, "if God exists, why does he allow innocent people, and animals, to suffer? Why doesn't God just get rid of all the evil/bad people?"

My response to this is, HE DID.

God tells Noah, "(11) Now the earth was corrupt in God’s sight, and the earth was filled with violence. (12) And God saw that the earth was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted its ways upon the earth. (13) And God said to Noah, “I have determined to make an end of all flesh, for the earth is filled with violence because of them; now I am going to destroy them along with the earth." (Genesis 6:11-13)

(Emphasis mine.)

Because our "heart was bent upon evil at all times;" because we've become "corrupt in God's sight;" and "the earth was filled with violence."

God destroys the earth and everything in it. When God "gets rid of all the 'bad people'," how does evil, violence, and malevolence find it's way back into humanity?

The Cause of Evil

Simple, the human will and perverted intellect is the cause of evil.

"... and God seeing that the wickedness of men was great on the Earth, and that all the thought of their heart was bent upon evil at all times." (Genesis 6:5)

(Emphasis mine.)

When we sin––because we've created our own ideal, "we've chosen ourselves against our own good," and restructured the moral order and hierarchy of values; when we violate ourselves; when we murder our brother... we VIOLATE the very nature of God––as we are made in His IMAGE.

And the Spirit of Being and Becoming itself is NOT to be violated. To violate God is to wound and offend Him deeply.

The consequence of such violations, is DEATH because sin is serious business to God––whom is justice itself.

"the way you sin, is the way you'll be purified"

Fr. Donald Calloway once said in one of his talks––likely quoting St. Bernard of Clairvaux––"the way you sin, is the way you'll be purified."

This is what General Zod, in Man of Steel, meant when he said, "The instrument of our damnation became our salvation."

In the Garden, the fall, through disobedience, comes through the act of eating of the fruit of the tree––and by consequence, death enters the world.

So too the salvation of the world will come through the act of eating. Eating of the fruit of the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary––and by consequence, eternal life.

If this is true, then it is through violence which caused God to flood the earth and destroy humanity. So too it will be violence, by the death of His only begotten Son Jesus, through which God saves the earth––and humanity.

The Ordering of Values

If we fail to finish what we've started because of a disordered lack of values. Then it will be through the ordering of values aligned to our best interests which will weaponize us to take aligned-action toward our goals in life.

I encourage your to pause, take a moment, and write down 5-6 core values you feel call out to you. And define what they mean to you.

Here's the thing about core values. Out of the five you write down. Three of them will remain constant and will likely not change. Two of them will change over time.

Why?

As you grow and build your character, your values will change and grow along with you. All actions moving forward ought to be aligned to what you value.

Your results reflect to the world what you value and believe––without you having to say a word.

Your Values Set Your Vision

Now that you're clear on your values, your values set your vision.

Proverbs 29:18 tells us, "Without a vision the people lose restraint; but happy is the one who follows instruction." (New American Bible).

Without vision, we become scattered––we perish––like the children of Cain at the Tower of Babel.

Step 2: We take our students through is: setting a goal and casting a vision of who (not "what" but "who") they want to be.

Your vision allows you to see what is possible for your life. It's your guiding principle... a clear understanding of what you want to achieve. If you cannot see where you want to be or where you want to go.

How are you going to get there?

Your Definiteness of Purpose

Step 3: We help them get clear on their definiteness of purpose.

Napoleon Hill talks about this in his book, Think and Grow Rich. Your definiteness of purpose, what's the goal; where do you want to be; what do you want?

Step 4: Make definite plans and adjust as needed. Give yourself a deadline.

Step 5: Write it all down into a "daily statement" of what you're 100% committed to doing. Don't confuse this with "Affirmations" or the "Law of Attraction."

"Affirmations" don't work, for two reasons. 1.) They are lies about yourself.

For example, "I'm fit; I'm a millionaire; etc." Reality check, NO, you're not.

2.) They are not rooted in truth and deep down, you don't believe this––remember the effects of lying?

Living in a Fantastic World

Does the universe exist independent of our thoughts?

This is a real question posed in today's time.

In fact, there is a philosophy of life which suggests that the universe is not real independent of our thoughts––I know, sounds absurd right?

This philosophy is spewed by pop psychologists and commencement speakers. "You can be whatever you want to be; you're the creator of your own reality."

This is the philosophy of the Law of Attraction and Manifestation.

If the universe (I.e., reality) is in fact merely a projection of your own thoughts, then you create your own world. And by consequence live in a fantasy; I.e., you live a fantastic life.

Therefore the universe is not objectively real but... a projection of each persons thoughts; correction it is our thoughts.

Peter Kreeft said with respect to this mindset/philosophy:

^[9]"If they actually mean what they say, this does not deserve reputation, but exorcism or psychoanalysis.

The clearest and most radical mark of insanity is a confusion between the two most fundamentally different kinds of reality, mainly, the subjective and the objective, or dreams and realities, or what is dependent on our minds and will and what is independent of them.

The maximum insanity would be the claim to be the mind of God, the omniscient Designer of the universe."

The "Law" of Attraction and "Manifestation" Are Lies

Like many in the world today, I, too, fell for the concept of "Affirmations" and the "Law of Attraction." Only to realize what they really were.

While I do see some "truth" to them. The distinction I would make is... it depends on what your affirmations are ordered to.

Are they ordered to yourself? Or to a higher purpose?

Today, more often than not, they are rooted in pride and void of God's providence––and will be of no value to you.

The Law of Attraction and Manifestation are attempts to "be God but without God (CCC 398)." They are attempts to "make a name for ourself" and build our own tower to the heavens; which according to history has not turned out well for humanity.

This is not to be confused with creating a vision and doing the work; or creating a statement of commitment.

Your Daily Statement is a declaration, an alignment of your ideal to God's, detailing the actions you're 100% committed to doing.

Then visualizing yourself doing the work and taking aligned-action.

Example, I am taking action on ['X' specific task] today to attain ['X' end outcome].

If the goal is getting fit and building a stronger body. It would look something like this:

1. Through God's "I am 100% committed to working out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with my kettlebells for 30 minutes each session." Specification is key.
2. The next thing you would say is, "as a result of this aligned-action it is ['X' Date] and I have just attained ['X' Definite Purpose]."
3. From there you would say, "As a result of [this specific outcome], I am currently experiencing ['X'] in my life. And as a result of ['X' Life Experience] I get to [Do 'X']."
   
   ... take the next step towards improving my relationships.
   ... take the next step towards building my career.
   Etc.
4. Then you'd close with something to this effect, "all of this was made possible because I took ['X' specific aligned-action], whether I was ready or not. Whether I felt like it or not."

Re-Telling Your Story (The New Wound)

This is an example of "re-telling the story" and giving yourself a "new wound" so you can create a new belief about yourself. You may also know this as "re-inventing yourself."

Legend has it, eagles live up to 70 years because of their mental toughness.

~30 years old, the eagle, if it wants to survive, must make a tough decision. It's claws are no longer sharp enough to hunt. His beak has become bent and blunt. It's feathers have become thick and heavy.

At this point, the eagle has two options: 1.) Remain the same and perish. Or 2.) Go through a painful transformation––the hard path which leads to salvation.

To survive the eagle must fly to a high mountain and smash it's beak against a rock until it falls out. When the old beak falls out, a new one grows in. With its new beak the eagle pulls out its old claws.

When the claws fall out, new ones grow in. The eagle then plucks out it's feathers. And new, vibrant, feathers grow in. This painful journey takes 150 days.

Any coincidence there are 150 Hail Mary's said in the full Rosary while meditating on the life Christ–which leads to an interior transformation?

At the end of the journey, the eagle gets a new life.

Die to Yourself

This is what Jesus meant when he said we must "die to ourselves, take up our cross, and follow him" in order for a new life to emerge.

Once you have your statement written, read it out loud twice daily and take persistent action until you attain your desired end outcome––while making adjustments along the way.

This is a framework we take our students through to create a new belief about themselves. We call this the "Better Man Cycle of Values;" it's where we leave the Toxic Cycle and enter the Better Man Cycle.

This new belief leads to the results we are pursuing.

Aligned-Action is the personification of integrity. It's where your actions are aligned to your values, vision, and purpose.

Action leads to virtue; to one discipline building on another.

With clarity being the key.

"I don't know why I'm stuck; I don't know why I start and stop things, etc, etc."

Ever hear this? Ever say this to yourself?

To this question I would say: you're stuck, first and foremost, because you lack clarity.

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