Better Man Truth Series: Day 1
Today we kick off the 5 Day Better Man Truth Series. Over the last decade running a personal training studio and competing in Jiu-Jitsu at the highest levels... I've noticed a theme of scared men making decisions -- or lack there of -- based on fear.
Many of these fears are lies we feed ourselves to keep us, "safe." But in reality it sets us up to playing small. So I thought I'd shed light on many of these lies and limiting beliefs.
We start off by attack the first limiting mindset keeping men stuck in the same place.
And that is...
Choose Your HARD
A lot of what I’m gonna share is stuff you’re not gonna want to hear.
I fully anticipate men leaving my group, unsubscribing from my email list, and unfollowing my profile.
And you know what?
I don’t give a shit.
This needs to be said. Just know this comes from a place of love and that I’m not some pompous asshole talking at you.
What I'm about to share has taken me 12+ years to learn... from starting and growing 3 businesses -- from nothing -- to getting in shape in minimal time, and growing into a man with a family.
My hope is you learn from these mistakes and limiting beliefs.
My job as your coach, mentor, or however you wanna view me...
Is not to tell you what you wanna hear -- that’s your wife’s job.
My job is to tell you the truth, support you, and take you from where you're at now as you read this... to where you wanna be so you can lead your family from a place of strength and not from a place of fear.
10% of the men who consume this 5 day Better Man Truth Series might create the life they wanna live.
They'll bring balance to the 5 elements of a strongman:
- Strong in Mind.
- Strong in Body
- Strong in Emotion
- Strong in Spirit
- Strong in Community
The other 90% will continue to play small and live life from the sideline and... remain trapped in their toxic cycle, making the same mistakes, and experience the same emotional road signs.
And I’m not just talking about getting in shape.
Some of the most lost, stressed, and insecure men I know, WORKOUT ALL THE TIME.
YOU CANNOT IGNORE DOING THE REQUIRED 'INNER WORK.'
Let's dive in...
Choose Your Hard
What we’re gonna talk about in this series is, the mindset side of things.
I know - not a sexy topic.
It's not kettlebell swings, cleans, snatches, or Jerks.
But here's the truth.
None of what I mentioned above matters if you don't get clear on the lies (i.e., stories and limiting beliefs) you've been feeding your subconscious.
The tactical pieces of life’s aren't hard. 10-20% of life is based around the practical pieces: getting in shape, and being a balanced dude isn't hard.
Building a business and making money isn’t hard.
(Sure there’s emotional challenges which accompany these but... the practical application and actions are easy)
The ability to create a balanced life so you can be more present with your kids while having time for yourself... is determined by mental strength rather than physical strength.
Here's what's HARD.
Living life on some else’s terms.
- Not having the time, money, and health to be the man you’ve been called to be is HARD (Being broke is NOT A MANLY TRAIT btw).
- What’s hard is being physically weak, overweight, and having to live life from the sideline while someone else plays with your kids.
- What’s hard is going through a potential divorce and you having to pay someone else to raise your kids.
- What’s hard is your kids growing up without YOU and knowing YOU mentally, physically, and emotionally.
That shit is HARD.
It's up to you to...
CHOOSE YOUR HARD!!
Hard things are NOT GETTING IN SHAPE AND LOSING WEIGHT.
Men say, "it’s hard to find time" to get in shape yet waste hours watching football, surfing social media, and watching porn.
All of which keep you from living your purpose and leading your family. I’ve made a lot of (good and bad) choices in life to get me to where I am today.
And that’s what sets me up to talk to you here over the course of the next 5 posts.
Here's more truth.
I’m NOT selling you ON ME, there’s a ton of coaches out there or one of my competitors. One of the best decisions I've ever made was... always investing in a mentor... NOT MATTER HOW UNAFFORDABLE IT SEEMED.
When I first opened the doors to my gym.
I didn't have an advertising budget (what small biz does in the beginning??).
But I knew I needed to learn and harness the power of marketing so I could go on to impact the lives of people who needed to hear my message.
My first coaching program was a 6 month commitment for ~$3k.
I DIDN'T have 3 grand.
But I knew if I didn't pull the trigger and figure it out ... it would cost me MORE in the long run (the virtue of any successful man is resourcefulness).
I took the $3k I invested and turned it into $13k of recurring revenue every month within 6 months.
Not a bad exchange if you ask me.
The second program I was looking into when I expanded my gym in 2013 from a 1100 sqft building to a 4200 sq ft building (that alone had me shitting my pants)... was positioned to help me go from $13 to $20k and beyond.
I remember to this day jumping on the phone with the sale person thinking, "if the program is $5k or so... I'm in for sure."
The program was $30k!!!
No shit, my thoughts exactly.
But I trusted myself. I knew I would make the right decisions and multiply what I invested and sure enough, I did.
I built a one of a kind training facility and an online men's coaching program both of which would go on to survive -- and stare down -- the wrath of a pandemic.
If I didn't and failed to create the right systems.
Had I let the fear of “I’m not comfortable spending that much money” cloud my decision making... I wouldn't be here talking to you today.
Had I thought, "well let me talk to my wife first before investing in a $30k program."
I wouldn't be talking to you today.
(I mean... how integris would I be... telling you to invest in a mentor if I never did? That would be completely backwards and you shouldn't trust a thing I say)
If I let fear guide my decisions I wouldn't be able to put food on the table to ensure the survival of my family.
It’s these little choices we make everyday -- either out of necessity or fear -- which will dictate where you’re gonna be years down the road.
You have no excuses around this my friend.
YOU MUST HAVE A MENTOR.
I NEVER thought, “eh, I’ll just figure things out on my own with free resources, free trainings, free courses, and $30 programs.”
The TRUTH about free courses and trainings?
YOU’LL NEVER DO THEM OR FOLLOW THROUGH.
Here's another truth.
I ran a free 5 Day Strongman Challenge, October 2020, to help men become more balanced strongmen. Over 50 men enrolled. When I followed up with each gentleman individually to see how it was coming along.
Guess how many of them took action?
A big FAT goose egg.
I never tried to convince myself I could do it alone.
Are you making fear-based decisions?
Fear-based decisions lead to fear-based outcomes.
This leads to playing small.
Here's two ways to know if you're operating from a place of fear and allowing it to run the show.
- You don’t make crucial decisions because you’re afraid of judgment from your wife, friends, or family.
- You’re afraid of taking a BOLD stand because you’ve made several bad decision in the past.
If you want it bad enough, you WILL figure it out a way to make it happen.
Why men don't invest in themselves...
They don't TRUST themselves.
Plain and simple.
Here's what I tell men who are afraid to invest in themselves.
"If all this did was keep you from getting a divorce (how much does that cost?), would it be worth it?"
"If all it did was give you the strategy so you can be more active and play with your kids WITHOUT PAIN, would it be worth it?"
"If all this did was help you get your mind right, so you can finally lose the weight and boost your confidence to ask for that raise, would it be worth it?"
And most importantly...
"... Do you believe you could pull this off if you got started?"
If the answer is, “YES” then why wouldn’t you do it??
IF THE ANSWER IS “NO”, THEN YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS INNER WORK YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON.
That's it for today.
Everything I’m sharing is based on talking to a series of terrified men in the last few weeks.
I’m seeing a lot of FEAR as a result of COIVD.
But honestly, men have been making fear-based decisions before COVID. The difference is, they now have something to pin, "WHY" they can't or haven't take action towards their goals on.
There are several men taking the charge head on, BUT I’m also seeing a massive group of AFRAID MEN.
The good news is, there are several men in-between.
And these are the men who I chose to do this series for.
My hope is...
this connects with the men who are
- Are afraid it's not gonna work, or they don’t deserve it.
- “It’s not the “RIGHT TIME.”
- The men who will REALLY benefit from this series are the men who are “in between.” They have the belief but just haven’t taken action, yet.
Again my intension is NOT to pitch or sell anything.
My goal is to help you lead your family from the front.
From a mentally strong and mindset perspective -- the first element of a strongman.
And my #1 purpose as a coach is to tell you the TRUTH and help you get out of your excuses.
If you’re not where you wanna be, it’s because you’re not making the DECISIONS and taking the daily actions to get where you wanna be.
I encourage you to explore the source of where these limiting beliefs are coming from so you can take massive action once and for all.
More than likely it’s FEAR-BASED.
Appreciate you reading.
In the next post we talk doubt "Breaking Trust with Yourself" with this *ONE WORD*.