"Your wound is a gift. And it's that wound where you'll find your greatest gift to the community and to your family. You gotta honor the gift of where you were wounded––it's where your gift to the world lies." ~ Robert Bly
Each of us receives a "wound" in our life.
(mine are... isolation, devalue, and shame.)
It's required.
For some it's a wound to the psyche.
For others it's a physical wound.
... and for most... It's BOTH.
How you receive your wound isn't important.
What's important is HOW YOU RESPOND.
The "4 Paths"
In response to their wound, men take one of four paths. In this post, I'll, briefly, address paths 1-3 and will reveal the final path in a separate post.
Path #1: The Depressed Path
This is where you become the wound:
- You live in the wound of shame.
- You become the victim, "woe is me."
- You remain a slave to devaule and isolation.
Men who've lacked a father figure most of their life take this path.
... and by consequence...
Many men lack COURAGE today.
(The root word of courage is "cour" or "cor." Which mean heart. Courage is fear IN ACTION.)
It takes courage –– it takes guts ––to tell your wife you need to workout; that you need time to get your shit together; that getting yourself right is a priority; and that you're gonna carve out a certain amount of hours each week to get it done.
Instead...
men end up creating "battle lines" with their wife where... there’s certain things we don’t do, or say, in order to keep the peace... because we know it’s gonna create conflict and stress.
The result?
Men end up leading a life of avoidance. Which leads to...
Path #2: The Grandiose Path
The is the path of ascension––the path of passivity.
Passivity is a characteristic passed down to us from our forefathers: Adam, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. It's where you resist the experience/circumstance/wound.
It's where you rise above the wound and shame; it's where you decide to have nothing to do with it.
Examples of resisting the wound are:
- Getting good grades.
- Refusing the Bucketing Work.
- Drowning yourself in your work.
(...the list is long.)
Because you figure, "hell, I’m wounded. But at least I'm successful and possess financial, time, and location freedom."
But as Robert Bly puts it, "this isn’t very human as we’re not acknowledging the wound."
So how do we adapt; how do we move forward?
Enter...
Bucket #4: New Experiences (ADAPTATION)
The 3rd path men takes as a result of the wound is: The Path of Ownership.
It's where you learn how to respond to the world around you; how to respond to the wound. This is where you adapt, create new experiences, and get clear ON WHAT YOU WANT.
It's where you create a new world view (and belief about yourself) so you can walk a different path and attain the goals you've set for yourself.
If you've ever wondered:
- Why you do what you do.
- Why you can't stay consistent with your eating.
- Why the last 6, 12, 18 months look the same.
- Why you can't stay consistent with your workouts.
- Why you can't be REAL and HONEST with your wife and kids.
It's because...
... you're not even aware of the required "Bucketing Work" you should be doing.
(We touched on "Bucketing Work" in part 3 of this series. For more context, if you haven’t already, read that post first, then come back here.)
Without Buckets 1-4:
- Bucket #1: The Bucket of Courage (Awareness and Confession)
- Bucket #2: The Bucket of Revelation
- Bucket #3: The Bucket of Conviction
- Bucket #4: NEW Experiences (Adaptation and Repentance)
You can never use...
Bucket #5: Poetry (Aligned-Action and Atonement)
This is where the game changes.
Your poetry is your creation; the art you've been called to put out into the world. It's the goals you've set for yourself.
This is where you systematically create and write your "Poetry" (i.e., retell your story). So you can, once and for all, take Aligned-Action toward your goals and bring your greatest gift(s) to your family, community, and the world at large.
But don't take my word for it.
Bother, if you're tired of being stuck in your Toxic Cycle.
You need a "Fraternal Fireteam", a brotherhood, to break through so you can walk a different path.
This is exactly what we help our students do in our coaching program.
We teach men (and women) how to develop discipline––using kettlebells––to build a stronger, leaner, and more capable body, in ~90 minutes per week. So they can become the strongest, most elite, version of themselves. And better lead their family.
In order to accomplish this... you’ll need a strategy built on these 3 Disciplines:
Discipline #1: A Quick Kettlebell Coaching Program
A step-by-step training system to guide you through the Performance Progression Pyramid so you can take your body and performance to the next level.
(... without constant aches and pains. You'll also receive coaching on how to eat in a non-restrictive way to not only support your training. But also help you achieve your physical goals––you know, to "LOOK" the part too.)
Discipline #2: Recovery Accelerating Mechanism (R.A.M)
If you’re not able to recover from your workouts... you’re shooting yourself in the foot.
A Recovery Accelerating Mechanism is a proven system to help men train hard, more often, and remain fresh & healthy as possible.
When you get this right, the days of waking up feeling "crushed" are *POOF*, gone.
Discipline #3: A "Bucketing System"
Men are trapped in their stories.
The lies they've been telling themselves about WHY they can't be consistent.
WHY they don't have time.
Lies like, "If I just had __________, then I'd be able to [attain this specific goal/desire]."
Its this alibi which keeps men and women "stuck."
If you want to become a better man––if you want to be the strongest version of yourself and be happy with what you see in the mirror.
Then… it is in your best interest to gain control over your mind; your thoughts, and the stories you've been telling yourself. This is Exactly what we help our students do.
The man who has control over his mind can exercise that control... and direct it towards attaining any objective.
"Bucketing" teaches men HOW TO RESPOND to the circumstances in his life so he can attain his goals.
A Bucking System illuminates why he's not taking action towards your life goals.
It provides the blueprint to establishing your values, vision, and purpose... so you can take aligned-action once and for all.
If you want to become the strongest version of yourself; a person of integrity; I invite you to set up a time to chat with me. On the call we'll get clear on your goals and establish what steps you need to take to get there.
And if we're a good fit, and it makes sense to work together, we can discuss the enrollment process.
I greatly appreciate your attention and reading this "Upper Limit Problem" Series.
Hope it's helped you out as much as it's helped me in writing it for you.
hec "the kettlebell coach" g.
P.S. As always... if you have questions either 1.) leave a comment below or 2.) send me an email to: [email protected]