Ch 3 of 5: “F*ck Your Excuses!”
26 October 2018
Saturday, ~12:30
I just finished Jiu-Jitsu here at Press BJJ and I rolled like a mad man — very little rest between rounds. I rolled till no one else was on the mat.
After all — it was the last time I’d be on the mat for a while (liver donation surgery is in 5 days). I was hoping to connect with a close friend to let ‘em know what was going on but — they weren't there this day.
After my last round I remember lying in the middle of the mat and staring at the square tiles in the ceiling and the thought hit me again...
... This is it...
"... this is the LAST day I ever do Jiu-Jitsu — Wednesday is the day that I die."
F*uck man!
It was the weirdest and darkest feeling.
I didn’t want to get up.
I didn’t want to take off my Gi and black belt for the last time.
But I had to.
Later this evening was our Hardstyle Hangout — we do these little events for our students so they can get to know each other, kick back, and enjoy some great food.
We planned on using this to drop the bomb on ‘em that I’d be gone for the next 3 months, sorry guys 
.
They knew something was up because Bryanna put together a special flyer about the hangout and a HUGE special announcement.
The moment came, we dropped the bomb, and well — it was another emotional roller coaster.
What a week!
This was it, after today we’d be packing up for San Antonio and not to return until after Thanksgiving — liver donation surgery is scheduled for Wednesday, 31 October 2018.
30 October 2018
Tuesday, ~22:00
Before I close the night — I wanted to end it with a killer double kettlebell workout.
Just before I remember telling myself, “man I’m tired, tomorrow is the surgery, it’s late, just go inside and relax.”
Right after that my inner voice said...
"... F*ck Your Excuses!"
Get your ass out there and do the f*cking work.
It wasn’t even a workout really.
I did a bunch of random exercise and pretty much beat myself up with a pair of Russian Red 32 kg’s
Swings, cleans, presses, squats, push-press, snatches, and of course double jerks.
After about an hour, I had enough.
I started packing up the bells and it hit me again...
... This is it...
"... this is the last day I ever lift these bells, tomorrow is the day I die."
I don’t know why I was having these thoughts but they were there. It’s crazy because it felt like an absolute certainty — like some kinda infused knowledge by God.
Even though I knew I was in the hands of the best surgeons in the #2 ranked transplant hospital in the world.
People have been asking me since day 1...
... why did you do it?
... how did you do it?
... why do you want to do this?
At the time, I don’t know why I did it. With time I was able to look back and piece together WHY.
And that’s what I’ll share with you in my next post.
To be continued...
But, one reason I knew for sure — and this will seem odd, dumb, or whatever but — I was also looking for something SO unbearably challenge to do...
... something to push myself to my limits that I could over come — even if it meant death as a possibility.
Speaking of...
Here’s a video of me today — as I attempt to pull over 600 pounds EXACTLY one year to the date of liver donor transplant surgery..
I’ve been looking forward to this day to prove no matter what life throws at you, you can rebuild and climb back to the top.
You simple have to tell yourself...
"... F*ck Your Excuses!"
See ya on the next post: Ch 4 of 5: The REAL Reasons I did it
Hec G.